Your Mabel Moment Of Zen

Sometimes, all one needs is a good roll on the floor.

Dumbest Dog Ever

This is the most masochistic dog I’ve ever seen.

Dog And Kid Blogging

Duff being held in a death grip by Chuck.

My dogs are saints.

Creepiest Photo Of Mabel Ever

She's Bitching At Me As Duff Looks On With Pity

Mabel Involved In Political Scandal

Reports have come in that presidential candidate, Mabel, has been immersed in a political scandal of astronomical proportions.

A secret camera has found that Mabel and an unidentified female that we think might possibly be a communist participated in a **gasp** terrorist fist bump.

Shocking

Mabel immediately had her campaign team do damage control but other pictures were found.

Scandalous

Mabel, accused of working in collusion with America’s sworn enemies responded in a press conference this morning.

She then met with her chief of staff, Duff Rove, for a meeting on world security.

Mabel Meets With Top Advisor, Duff Rove

In a written press release, Mabel said that she is working on gas woes. When asked what kind of car she drove, she responded “Oh, that kind of gas. I was working with Alka-Seltzer.”

She is considering getting back in the race. “This is fracking amazing, ” she muttered.

Old Dogs

Kirby is 12.

She was a dog we got from SQ’s mom and dad when their Schnauzers named Shultz and Sophie kind of hooked up. (Okay, they hooked up for two seconds and, BAM, babies.)

We said we would take the first dog out of the gate. It was destiny or something like that.

We got Kirby, who we received the day Kirby Puckett retired. She is also named after a West Tennessee drag queen named Eve Kirby.

We don’t discriminate.

The next day, the oldest niece was born. That’s kind of special, if you ask me, which you didn’t but I will tell you anyway.

Kirby lost an eye trying to escape a pen. The other eye is just blind.

She doesn’t like politics, tomatoes or cuddling. She is also annoyed by Duff.

Kirby is a dog/cat.

I worry for her because she is older, but she is a pretty, sweet dog. And, no, we couldn’t “cut” her ears so you get the Benji version of a Schnauzer.

When you don’t have kids, you love your dogs.

Just Saying.

A Bunch Of Dogs

And when they ride in the cab of a truck, they all want to be in the driver’s lap.

The Unafraid Deer

We saw this deer on July 4 out in the country. The deer was being barked at by some noisy beagles. She just stood there for a long time looking curiously at the dogs.

She then just wandered off. The dogs lost interest and came after us. They were some noisy little dogs.

This all happened in the parking lot of a country church.

Nature can be awe-inspiring at times.

Friendfeed, Strep Throat And Randomness

Yes, the strep throat is bitch but I can see a bit of improvement from yesterday and last night was all right I guess because I was stoned out of my head due to all the medicine that I’m having to take. Apparently I’m not the only suffering one from general malaise and feeling like penguin poo.

I own it. This is some powerful stuff but if it will make me well and give me back my ears, it’s of the good. I’ll probably be announcing my rehab stay with Heather Locklear next week because that apparently is what famous people do and this stuff is STRONG. Squirrel Queen laughed at me because not only was I wondering around the house like I was at a Grateful Dead concert, yammering on Twitter (sorry for those who had to put up with me over there all though I had a great time) and I watched Transformers

I’d give you a review a year late of it but the only thing I can really say is that Peter Cullen voicing Optimus Prime was my favorite part. SQ and I talked today that we really don’t know anything about Transformers so what we saw was a bunch of big robots fighting. I know that’s not very deep but that’s what I got out of it.  Did I mention my medication?  Oh, yeah, I did. If you want to know more about it, go read Ron Hogan’s review at Den of Geek. With that said, I’m a voice-over geek. I love to know who’s voicing what. I guess that goes back to my DJ days.

On another note, Happy Birthday Nelson Mandela.

And due to my medical diversion, I didn’t have enough energy to post about this so just go have your Moment of Zen with Steve Cohen who compares Vice-president Dick Cheney to a barnacle. Now, this is why he’s my political boyfriend.

Finally, join Friendfeed right now. I don’t mean to be an evangelist about this but with Twitter “stressing” I’m finding the functionality of Friendfeed to be very useful. You can put all of your online ramblings into one place, comment, send messages, favorite things such as photos from Flickr, Youtube, Last.fm, twitters, posts and the like all in one place. I had a moment of if anything were to every happen to me, that I wanted a place to show my brilliance and my ineptitude for my nieces. So I have taken my RSS from Friendfeed and put it on a Tumblr account, which of course is also called Newscoma.

I’ve had that account for about a year and I didn’t know what to do with it, so now I do. Yeah, I’m slow on the uptake.

Why do I do this stuff? Because I’m trying to learn new things and I guess one way to do that is to root around places.

And, go read Angela because she’s good. Also, go read and listen to Katie at Shaggy Dog Farms. Three of the four dogs here at Chez Coma were rescues (well, Mabel just showed up and never left and I sometimes wonder where the hell she came from) but Duff was tossed out at Homer’s house when the oldest niece, Asa Corn, was about one year-old. She has a site dealing with pups and kittens. Being that I guess I’m a dog blogger, go check out healthy and gentle living for the animals.

This is Duff. She’s lived with us 11 years. I call her the stinky dog. She has been stinky since the day she moved in with us. But I love her.

Headed back to the strep throat drug highway. I’ll be seeing pink elephants today I’m sure so bear with me.

Because I’ll probably blog about it, as that is what I’m wont to do.

Friday Morning Mabel Blogging

Sunday Morning Mabel Blogging

It’s getting hot, campers, as evidence of Mabel’s tongue.

Newscoma And Mabel

I’m as busy as Barack Obama today so the best thing I can do is give you a picture of me and my dog.

Navel gazing at it’s finest.

Friday Night Mabel Blogging

She’s not really a very good farm dog.

She’s probably eating a bug or something equally as nasty.

It’s the Tao of Mabel.

“Queenie Is In Danger”

I can’t encourage you enough to watch this video.

I’m speechless. Dogs walking, drama, booze, assault …

I just don’t know what to say.

Best to have an adult cocktail when you watch it.

Seriously.

Update. Ectoplasmosis has the story about the clip. Thank God.

Heart Shaped Box by Joe Hill

Last year sometime, I threw up a post about Joe Hill. It was about him being the son of Stephen King (not the labor guy or the guy that used to work for John Tanner.)

I have been in a funk for about a month so I decided to set ye olde laptop aside and read his debut book called Heart Shaped Box yesterday. I really needed not to think about things for awhile and so I decided to go back to that well-worn practice of actually picking up paper bound in glue and giving it a whirl.

I’m glad I did.

Spoilers after the jump if you haven’t read it:

Dead Salamander

So here’s the story. I’m getting dressed this morning and I walked into my bedroom. As I am wont to do, my clean clothes were lying in a pile at the end of my bed.

I grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt and felt something really gross touch my foot.

It was a partially eaten salamander. Can we all say “blech” together?

I blame Duff the stinky dog as she hates critters. As we are are establishing Mabel’s team (caucusing is going on at this point) the only thing I know to do is put Duff in the CIA or as a Navy Seal or something.

We will have to deprogram her before she goes abroad as I really think she was an ultimate fighter or kick-boxer in another life.

Dead salamander on your toes as your stumbling about to get dressed is pretty gross.

I need a vacation.

Mabel For President

Mabel has been to the moon (sorta.)

She has negotiated tricky international policies with evil overlords.

Mabel Can Read (sorta.)

She likes cats and is open to new ideas.

Mabel is a very presidential looking dog.

More presidential than George Bush when you get right down to it. Don’t you want to have a beer with her.

“Today, Mabel announces her candidacy for President of the United States. As candidates are not paying attention to the needs of citizens and the infighting has gotten to the point that the future of the United States of America is threatened with the lack of diversity and tolerance for our fellow man, Mabel has decided that if Washington has gone to the dogs, put a DOG in the White House.”

She’s female, she’s old, she’s black and she’s white. She’s got it all.

Can we please move past those things?

She doesn’t talk about the issues.

She’s just like the rest of the candidates these days.

What do you have to lose?

I really had hope when this race started.

Mabel Meets Zombie Elvis

For Bad Bad Ivy and Cantalyssa at Home Ec 101.

Mabel encounters Zombie Elvis. She has fear in her eyes as she bows in terror of what the undead king might do to her. The large feet of Squirrel Queen do not frighten her as she is used to them stomping about the house.

She realizes that her fight against the undead is fruitless as no one wins against Zombie Elvis. She lies down to her new alpha and realizes that she has been made the canine version of Renfro in this zombie saga although she has no idea who Renfro is because she is, alas, a dog.

She does know Tom Waits played him in one of the Dracula movies because I told her so.

The End

Or Is It? 

You Kids Get Off My Lawn

As I woke up at 2:45 this morning, as I sometimes do, realizing that I thought I had beat my cold back down into the trenches and then waking up in a puddle of snot, I did what any person would do when they are drowning.

I just got up.

The dogs (all three of them) decided they were hungry and needed to eat something because God forbid they hadn’t eaten in about, oh I don’t know, three hours so off I went in search of kibble.

Why am I telling you this at (let me check the clock) 4:30 a.m?

Because sometimes, in the middle of the night when all that remains in the darkness is a lit laptop screen and a befuddled mind, you find wonderful things on the innertubes.

I’m not a baby boomer. I’m that lost generation that doesn’t really have a name that came after the boomers and before Generation X, Y and Z (that’s next, I’m assuming.)  So sometimes I just haunt the internet looking for things to amuse me in the middle of the night until Star Trek comes on at 5 a.m.

Yeah, I got a schedule. You got a problem with that?

So, I go over to Ken Levine’s blog because I like it and he linked to a blog that has entertained me all throughout these early morning hours.

Lloyd Thaxton’s blog rocks. If you don’t know who Lloyd Thaxton is, you whippersnappers, then go here and it will be explained. Or at least alluded to as I am linking to Wikipedia. Thaxton reminisces about television in the ’60’s (and man, does he have some tales to tell), comments on why Britney Spears is a “bad-mouther” because there is beauty in lip-synching and some political stuff but mainly it’s about the celebrities of the past.

When I was growing up, we had four television channels (of course, my father, Big Daddy, would say “We didn’t have a TV and I walked 35 miles in the snow so shut your trap, kid.” Not really, but sorta).

After school, Homer (the sis) and I had a schedule of watching Gilligan’s Island, The Beverly Hillibillies, I recall Hogans Heroes coming on for awhile before I learned about the sordid past of Bob Crane and then our version of “Dance Party” (actually, I can’t remember the exact name other than it was filmed in Paducah). And, by God, we were to watch Days of Our Lives if we were at my grandmother’s house.

Ahh, Macdonald Carey’s voice at the beginning of each show became a staple in our lives. I also recall watching some soap called “The Doctors” as well. And Barnabas on Dark Shadows.

I haven’t seen a soap in years, but Barnabas was bad ass.

When we got cable, man, the world changed. I go back to not being an official “boomer” and not being part of any of the other generations with cool names because I was at the end of one phase and then in the beginning of new ones but not quite IN either one.

So, yeah, television for me is nostalgic. And reading Thaxton’s blog (just a little free one like mine is which also makes me smile that he’s giving these memories and recollections away for nothing) I remembered those afternoons when I was a kid. When I would dance to the television set, when I thought working at a television station like Mary Tyler Moore did would be the grooviest thing ever and how I wanted to do the weather like Ted Baxter and that I did, indeed, want to marry Steve McQueen.

I guess I need to go yell at some kids to get off my lawn now. (Hint: Getting older can be more than alright. You just have to get the hang of it, that’s all.)

There Was No Death In My Home After I Cooked

Yesterday, I was working on some projects from the homestead and decided to cook chili for the groovy chicks at work. Of course, if you have ever eaten my cooking, you might decide that this was not a gift although I must say I had some good intentions about it all.

I only ruined one shirt, the dogs didn’t throw up after eating an onion and a can of biscuits (for dressing I’m making this evening) which fell on the floor. Yes, dressing is one of the five dishes I can make successfully from a recipe from my mom. I dropped some water on the floor and my dog Duff slid on it and went flying into the pantry because I’d left the door open. (This was excessively funny. I guess you had to be there.) I made more noise dropping pots like nobody’s business. I also learned that ovens have timers.

I got mad skillz, I tell you. Mad Skillz.

I did pretty well with the stirring of the chili though and sometimes it’s best to look at the positive side of life and decided to document the atrocities on Twitter. It entertained me. Thanks saraclark, Russ and Ginger for hanging out with me for a while online on the “Will Newscoma-Blow-Up-The-Kitchen Watch”. I really do adore you guys.

If Homer reads this (she is on holiday for the next week), I didn’t break anything other than your dog’s stomach. Oops.

BadgerBeth came over to sample the chili and deemed it edible. She didn’t die. Another good sign from the hills of west Tennessee. We haven’t seen much of the Badger lately as she has been, da-da-dum, seeing someone who we are meeting later this week. Cool beans for Beffers. And our buddy, the Beccster, also came over and we had a lovely time. She also had some chili and didn’t die. We also imbibed in a fine frothy hopps and barley beverage after I cleaned things up. (Homer, I really did clean things up, you would be so proud. And the dishwasher didn’t ever explode.)
There was no death at Chez Coma last night and not one person even got food poisoning. Now I have to figure out how to get six quarts of chili to the office but I think I have that covered. A good sign for a fine Thanksgiving week.

Badger is also going to go with us to the farm at Harris Station this year to celebrate Pilgrim Day with Stephanie’s family.

This should be fun.

Of course, these are small things we are giving thanks for this week. No death by Newscoma chili, good friends, dogfriends not suffering from gastronomical issues and no food poisoning. Woot.

Because we aren’t having an office Christmas party this year (budgetary stuff from the home office in Wichita) I’m wondering if I should delve into throwing a bash for the groovy chicks at work. I wonder if I can get Home Ec-101 to sponsor it or at least give tips on how not to burn the house down. If you are wondering, I never took Home Ec. I was in Drama Club and “Swing” Choir. Yep, I’m one of those. They might be able to answer the age-old question of how someone non-domestic becomes domestic or something. They also might just pray for me. That might work as well.

One more day of herding cats before some down time before the holiday. Something we all need.

On a final note, light a candle for a buddies Slartibartfast and Lintella. We are thinking of you from the west of the state.