Conan O’Brien Does Edith Bunker

He sounds a lot like her.

Yeah, I just wasted a minute and a half of your life.  You weren’t doing anything else, where you?

David Letterman

Dave is back, strike beard and all, and as I’m a huge Letterman fan (I’ve never liked Leno) here’s a sampling of his top ten list from last night’s show.

10. Tim Carvell, The Daily Show: “Complimentary tote bag with next insulting contract offer.”

9. Laura Krafft, The Colbert Report: “No rollbacks in health benefits, so I can treat the hypothermia I caught on the picket lines.”

8. Daytime writer Melissa Salmons: “Full salary and benefits for my imaginary writing partner, Lester.”

7. Warren Leight, Law & Order: Criminal Intent: “Members of the AMPTP must explain what the hell AMPTP stands for.”

6. Jay Katsir, Colbert Report: “No disciplinary action taken against any writer caught having inappropriate relationship with a copier.”

5. Steve Bodow, Daily Show: “I’d like a date with a woman.”

4. Nora Ephron: “Hazard pay for breaking up fights on The View.”

Yay. Go read the rest, but I found this to be the David Letterman I know and adore.

“Ladies and gentlemen the only show on the air now that has jokes written by union writers,” Letterman declared.

“I know you’re thinking to yourselves at home – ‘This crap is written?'”

He sort of looks like Moses in a suit. On crack.

The Good, The Bad And The Reality

Ken Levine probably thinks I’m some sort of cyberstalker I’ve linked to him so much in the last couple of weeks, but this was too good to not link to. He is looking for some of the good stuff to come out of the writer’s strike which is pretty funny (and telling.)

The rest of the world has discovered that Nikki Finke’s website is the place to go for information.

YouTube videos have gotten much funnier now that David Letterman writers have joined the junior high nerds from Lancaster, Pennsylvania who normally contribute these comedy classics.

It hasn’t snowed.

Many writers are getting cardiovascular exercise for the first time since 1988.

I got mentioned in Rolling Stones magazine (but I haven’t seen it yet so I’m not certain it’s a good thing).

There was a rally to salute the veteran writers although I could have lived without the phrase “meet the writers from YESTERYEAR.” It makes it sound like we’re all the Lone Ranger.

There are quite a few more. Levine is saying that the new negotiations aren’t all that great.

With this said, wasn’t Leno giving out doughnuts out a few weeks ago? It looks like some of his staff aren’t going to be having a great Christmas.

LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) – A couple of days after the Writers Guild of America strike began November 5, the star of “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” told some 80 of his idled staffers that they need not worry about their finances.

Leno was so adamant about paychecks being safe, many didn’t bother looking for new jobs even though NBC was forecasting layoffs.

So it came as quite a shock Friday when the entire staff was told that they were not only out of a job but also that they weren’t guaranteed of being rehired once “The Tonight Show” returns.

UPDATE: Leno decided yesterday to help out his employees. Happened after I wrote the post. Trying to be fair. Now back to our original post. 

And we all know about Carson Daly, but Conan is paying some of his folks.

I’m thinking right now is crunch time in this strike. Without the writers, the other folks don’t have a job.

Let’s hope this gets resolved soon. Or you will be having to watch reality television starring David Hasselhoff. (Doh. That’s already happened. Never mind.)

With all of that said, I miss David Letterman, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert the most.

I haven’t ever watched Leno.

Just saying.

My Ideas To Deal With The Writer’s Strike

The Writer’s Strike continues, so I guess it’s time for us to face the reality that TV might go into the toilet. The Office isn’t taping, Lost is looking at half a season and other shows are looking at a cold, dark winter.

So, in the spirit of being spunky, I’ve decided that we need to give some ideas to Hollywood in case this goes on to where we are watching “Dateline” every night and I just can’t deal with Chris Matthews or Lou Dobbs (where there is some smoke he’s running for president although I doubt it.)

I’m going to need some Xanax if that happens but I digress.

Our first show would be “What is Hillary Wearing?” A nightly show about the fashion world of the former first lady/New York senator/presidential candidate. Each night, we will look if she is wearing diamonds or pearls. Policy Shmolicy. It’s about fashion, bitches. CNN will cover this television masterpiece by planting questions amongst the contestants who must determine if Clinton is wearing aged coal or oyster hard thingies. And for a special feature, Wolf Blitzer will do the cha-cha for viewers in a tu-tu. Of course, it could be argued that we get this every night on cable news. I guess I’m stealing an idea. Call me a thief if you must.

Our second show will be called “Find The Spoon.” This reality show, developed by Squirrel Queen, is about finding spoons in garbage disposals across the South. The hijinks will be amazing as people look for spoons while trying not to get their hands grinded off and will compete at a mystery location that might be a meth trailer or a plantation. Imagine the fun. Our host will be, of course, Larry the Cable Guy. Contestants will vie for $5,000 and a luncheon with Simon Cowell, right after a Botox treatment. He just might be surly, which will create a world of whimsy for viewers.

Finally, “Milk Your Neighbor’s Pet” which was inspired by tonight’s Amazing Race. To see contestants milk a camel brought me great joy. Imagine if contestants had to go to their neighbor’s house to milk a guinea pig. This would be glorious. Or how about an Iguana. This could be just about as amusing as “America’s Home Videos.” Or “According to Jim.”

***sigh***

It’s best to plan ahead, don’t you think?

Of course, if you want to know what’s going on from a writer about the writer’s strike, check out Ken Levine or Jane Espenson.

I bet they have better ideas than I do but I think “Find The Spoon” would be a blockbuster. Hell, people watched Paris Hilton for pete’s sake.

I’ve still got Ninja Warrior, and that, campers, is indeed something.

The Writers For The Daily Show Just Can’t Help It

Okay, I laughed.

This is fun. Well, not fun for those striking for the Writers Guild on the picket lines, but this guerilla stuff is a hoot.

From the writers of The Daily Show, I give you a moment of Zen from the picket line.

It’s always good to have a sense of humor.

The Late Show Writers’ Blog

The writers for The Late Show with David Letterman have a blog.

Here’s a taste:

So, I must admit, I was a little frustrated. I angrily spun around and screamed, “Quiet! We’re trying to shoot here!” Instead of being greeted by a drunken lout, however, I found myself staring at CBS President/CEO/Muckety-Muck Les Moonves wearing a suit whose value is more than what the WGA is asking for in this strike.

He shot me a look of pure hate that I normally only get from women I’m dating. It was a look that said, “Mark my words, someday you’ll pay for this!”

Mr. Moonves, I’m sorry for getting angry. I thought you were a drunken loudmouth. Wait, that didn’t come out right at all. But I’m sorry. Very, very sorry. Very, very, very sorry. It’s just I was so focused on creating top-notch comedy for your fine network, I didn’t realize who you were. Let’s just forget it, sir. I want to get back to creating top-notch comedy for your fine network. Thank you.

Tom Ruprecht

The writers are keeping a day-to-day account on the strike. And, some of it is really funny.

Check it out if you are so inclined. It’s pretty informative as well.

Damen Lindelof And Marc Cherry

Damen Lindelof of Lost and Marc Cherry of Desperate Housewives break down the writer’s strike.

They have a point. Things are changing rabidly rapidly. If you told me three years ago about social media and that the reporters that work for me would be taking video for news, I would have looked at you like you were a nutcase.

World’s a changing.

Shabby TV Reviews

So the bad weather didn’t really hit us in Hooterville. I’ll be honest, it might have.

I went to bed.

Some spoilers below …

Most of my television viewing habits come from the trusty DVR, but as I’m a huge fan of “The Office”, I was sort of excited that I was actually home to see it. That hour of television was interesting. First of all, I got to see all the commercials and then when the show would come back on, I’d get a weather alert.

But I got to see the commercials of the “The Office” so just call me blessed because of the stupid television station’s storm alerts. I know, it has to happen, bills have to get paid.

Other shows I’m digging this year is “Pushing Daisies” where I think Jim Dale’s narration and the whimsy of it all has me smiling even though it’s quit dark. I love stuff like that.

Now, with that said, I have to wait for “Mad Men” for the next season. I do want to say this. My mother used to tell me two separate stories about two women from her childhood. One of the women looked as if she gained weight. My mother said it just looked like she put on a few pounds.

Yup, she had a baby. The town was surprised. According to my mother, who was in high school around this period of time, the girl was surprised as well. Another woman was fit, played sports and the like. No one knew she was pregnant either. She also had a baby. That girl told everyone she had no idea she was pregnant. The time frame of this was roughly, you guessed it, 1960.

So my thoughts on Peggy being knocked up and giving birth is that I don’t think it’s too over the top and not knowing about it doesn’t surprise me. I have to remember when I’m watching this show that it’s set in a time very different. This was nearly 50 years ago. I think that’s why I like it, that they really haven’t modernized some of the ideology that occurred in that period of time. I look forward to the next season.

With that said, I’ve not seen “Cavemen” nor do I expect that I ever will, but I dig get a review from my brother-in-law Squeegee Monkee. He says it sucks almightily, the make-up is horrible and he wants 30 minutes of his life back. I just laughed because he watched it in the first place.

Man, I love my DVR. Let’s just hope they get the next season of “Lost” completed in case we have a writer’s strike.

Just saying.