Because We Love Our Families …

29 11 2007

We torment them.

I give you a video of Squirrel Queen’s mom, who had no idea that I was shooting a video of her at the Thanksgiving Roast Beast celebration.

Listen for her “Heh” at the end.

Yeah, it’s the Turkey Dance.

The woman really has rhythm. Seriously.





Five Observations From Thanksgiving

22 11 2007

1. I am as bloated as a pregnant Kangaroo. Although I realize kangaroos are not indigenous to northwest Tennessee, I think if you came to my house you might say in surprise “Man, you look like a bloated kangaroo.” This, alas, would indeed happen.

2. The storm here last night was so fantastic and wonderful that it took me more than 30 minutes to realize I was sitting in a carport watching it that was completely made of wrought iron with the wind whipping my hair about while lightening cracked over the river leaving a dark world alight for brief seconds which was so fantastic I cannot put it into words. The wrought iron was something I needed, most likely, to take into consideration but I didn’t. I surprise myself sometimes by ignoring important details, but I lived and it was wonderful so it all came out well.

3. I can indeed eat sweet potatoes covered in marshmallows by delicately scrapping the horrid white stuff off the top and it tastes pretty good. (Don’t like marshmallows in the least.) All is well though because I don’t like merangue on pie either and I scrape that off too (I call it cow slobber.) There is always a compromise that you can find if you lookhard enough and are willing to meet in the middle and you might find it can turn out quite to your advantage.

4. Mabel is the best dog in the world because she went out to Squirrel Queen’s mother’s farm and got along with a new, very nervous, very yappy teacup poodle. I am quite thankful for Mabs. She’s a good one.

5. This is the first Thanksgiving in 12 years that I really enjoyed myself so much that it was almost painful. A delicious time that I also cannot put into words, but just wanted you to know, after a very tense year, I felt my heart was right back in the place that it needed to be.

And for that, I am grateful and give thanks to things I cannot see.





Happy Thanksgiving, Folks

21 11 2007

Happy Thanksgiving, campers. Thank YOU for making this fun. I really appreciate it. The family thing awaits as does turkey, dressing, pickled okra, beer…

You know, the standards.

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Have a lovely holiday and see you on the flip side.

Photo from The Boat Lullabies, which is FANTASTIC.





Zombies Vs. Pilgrims

20 11 2007

I think you guys might want to check this out.

“UNSETTLED” THE WORLD’S ONLY ZOMBIES VS. PILGRIMS MOVIE!!! In 1585 a group of English settlers landed near present-day North Carolina. These pilgrims expected wealth and prosperity from the untouched land but instead recieved famine and hyperthermia. Their eventual fate has been unknown UNTIL NOW!!

LEARN WHAT HISTORY BOOKS NEVER TAUGHT YOU AS THE WESTERN WORLDS FIRST ATTEMPT AT COLONIZATION GETS FOIBLED BY ZOMBIES IN THIS HISTORICAL ORGY of VIOLENCE and GORE!

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This was sent to me by J.D. Rainer.

Of course, it’s all true. I KNEW IT!

History books never tell you the real stuff.





The Reason I Went To Broadcasting School

20 11 2007

Gary Sandy’s flybacks make me laugh.

I love me some Les Nessman. Yes, indeed, I do.





There Was No Death In My Home After I Cooked

20 11 2007

Yesterday, I was working on some projects from the homestead and decided to cook chili for the groovy chicks at work. Of course, if you have ever eaten my cooking, you might decide that this was not a gift although I must say I had some good intentions about it all.

I only ruined one shirt, the dogs didn’t throw up after eating an onion and a can of biscuits (for dressing I’m making this evening) which fell on the floor. Yes, dressing is one of the five dishes I can make successfully from a recipe from my mom. I dropped some water on the floor and my dog Duff slid on it and went flying into the pantry because I’d left the door open. (This was excessively funny. I guess you had to be there.) I made more noise dropping pots like nobody’s business. I also learned that ovens have timers.

I got mad skillz, I tell you. Mad Skillz.

I did pretty well with the stirring of the chili though and sometimes it’s best to look at the positive side of life and decided to document the atrocities on Twitter. It entertained me. Thanks saraclark, Russ and Ginger for hanging out with me for a while online on the “Will Newscoma-Blow-Up-The-Kitchen Watch”. I really do adore you guys.

If Homer reads this (she is on holiday for the next week), I didn’t break anything other than your dog’s stomach. Oops.

BadgerBeth came over to sample the chili and deemed it edible. She didn’t die. Another good sign from the hills of west Tennessee. We haven’t seen much of the Badger lately as she has been, da-da-dum, seeing someone who we are meeting later this week. Cool beans for Beffers. And our buddy, the Beccster, also came over and we had a lovely time. She also had some chili and didn’t die. We also imbibed in a fine frothy hopps and barley beverage after I cleaned things up. (Homer, I really did clean things up, you would be so proud. And the dishwasher didn’t ever explode.)
There was no death at Chez Coma last night and not one person even got food poisoning. Now I have to figure out how to get six quarts of chili to the office but I think I have that covered. A good sign for a fine Thanksgiving week.

Badger is also going to go with us to the farm at Harris Station this year to celebrate Pilgrim Day with Stephanie’s family.

This should be fun.

Of course, these are small things we are giving thanks for this week. No death by Newscoma chili, good friends, dogfriends not suffering from gastronomical issues and no food poisoning. Woot.

Because we aren’t having an office Christmas party this year (budgetary stuff from the home office in Wichita) I’m wondering if I should delve into throwing a bash for the groovy chicks at work. I wonder if I can get Home Ec-101 to sponsor it or at least give tips on how not to burn the house down. If you are wondering, I never took Home Ec. I was in Drama Club and “Swing” Choir. Yep, I’m one of those. They might be able to answer the age-old question of how someone non-domestic becomes domestic or something. They also might just pray for me. That might work as well.

One more day of herding cats before some down time before the holiday. Something we all need.

On a final note, light a candle for a buddies Slartibartfast and Lintella. We are thinking of you from the west of the state.





Harry Reid

17 11 2007

Is Harry Reid finally playing hardball? Not Chris Matthews HardBall, because that show just gives me the hives, but some Democratic “Harry”ball?

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) has decided to keep the chamber in session over the Thanksgiving break to block President Bush from making any unsavory recess appointments while Senators are out of town.

Give ’em hell, Harry. 

Incidentally, I like saying Harry outloud. I have no idea why.

Just saying.