Qualifications To Be Vice President

6 09 2008

As many of you know, I ran Mabel for president and then tried to create a variety of political scandals for her as she was clueless to her candidacy, and, well, she eats things she creates.

I thought her character might be attacked, so we let her go back to eating kibble and doing her pub crawl, which she did last night.

But I have to point you to Sparkles Plenty, who has outlined her reasons on why she would make a great vice-president.

Anyway, now that all that has been cleared up, I know that I am supremely qualified to be your Vice President. Here is why I expect your vote in November:

1. I know how to drive a car.
2. I can open jars all by myself.
3. I always never forget to clean out the lint filter on the dryer.
4. My favorite soup is potato.
5. I don’t spit when I talk. Usually.

Mabel endorses Kristina for V.P. enthusiastically.


Your Mabel Moment Of Zen

2 09 2008

Sometimes, all one needs is a good roll on the floor.

Mabel Is Famous

14 08 2008

Mabel is becoming more famous for her bar hopping than for her presidential platform.

Sort of like Britney Spears. Didn’t Spears sing at one period of time? Or try to, at least.

Mabel Plays Pool

Mabel Plays Pool

Another Political Scandal For Mabel

11 08 2008

Mabel was found in a juke joint.

And Harleys? When did she start riding Harleys?

Read the rest of this entry »

Creepiest Photo Of Mabel Ever

5 08 2008
Shes Bitching At Me As Duff Looks On With Pity

She's Bitching At Me As Duff Looks On With Pity

Mabel Involved In Political Scandal

27 07 2008

Reports have come in that presidential candidate, Mabel, has been immersed in a political scandal of astronomical proportions.

A secret camera has found that Mabel and an unidentified female that we think might possibly be a communist participated in a **gasp** terrorist fist bump.



Mabel immediately had her campaign team do damage control but other pictures were found.



Mabel, accused of working in collusion with America’s sworn enemies responded in a press conference this morning.

She then met with her chief of staff, Duff Rove, for a meeting on world security.

Mabel Meets With Top Advisor, Duff Rove

Mabel Meets With Top Advisor, Duff Rove

In a written press release, Mabel said that she is working on gas woes. When asked what kind of car she drove, she responded “Oh, that kind of gas. I was working with Alka-Seltzer.”

She is considering getting back in the race. “This is fracking amazing, ” she muttered.

Vidalia Onions

13 07 2008

Eating the last of Vidalia onions for the year and they have made me a tasty mess.

This means my breath will never let another human being want to kiss me.

And, well, the dogs adore my skank breath.

Yet I feel free.

Mabel is bitching. But she recycles her own stuff so she can’t be a ding dong.

Holy Hell

Holy Hell

There is so much one can do when they have the breath of a demonic goat.

And that is to buy Altoids.

It’s enough.