Qualifications To Be Vice President

6 09 2008

As many of you know, I ran Mabel for president and then tried to create a variety of political scandals for her as she was clueless to her candidacy, and, well, she eats things she creates.

I thought her character might be attacked, so we let her go back to eating kibble and doing her pub crawl, which she did last night.

But I have to point you to Sparkles Plenty, who has outlined her reasons on why she would make a great vice-president.

Anyway, now that all that has been cleared up, I know that I am supremely qualified to be your Vice President. Here is why I expect your vote in November:

1. I know how to drive a car.
2. I can open jars all by myself.
3. I always never forget to clean out the lint filter on the dryer.
4. My favorite soup is potato.
5. I don’t spit when I talk. Usually.

Mabel endorses Kristina for V.P. enthusiastically.

Your Mabel Moment Of Zen

2 09 2008

Sometimes, all one needs is a good roll on the floor.

Mabel Is Famous

14 08 2008

Mabel is becoming more famous for her bar hopping than for her presidential platform.

Sort of like Britney Spears. Didn’t Spears sing at one period of time? Or try to, at least.

Mabel Plays Pool

Mabel Plays Pool

Another Political Scandal For Mabel

11 08 2008

Mabel was found in a juke joint.

And Harleys? When did she start riding Harleys?

Read the rest of this entry »

Creepiest Photo Of Mabel Ever

5 08 2008
Shes Bitching At Me As Duff Looks On With Pity

She's Bitching At Me As Duff Looks On With Pity

Mabel Involved In Political Scandal

27 07 2008

Reports have come in that presidential candidate, Mabel, has been immersed in a political scandal of astronomical proportions.

A secret camera has found that Mabel and an unidentified female that we think might possibly be a communist participated in a **gasp** terrorist fist bump.



Mabel immediately had her campaign team do damage control but other pictures were found.



Mabel, accused of working in collusion with America’s sworn enemies responded in a press conference this morning.

She then met with her chief of staff, Duff Rove, for a meeting on world security.

Mabel Meets With Top Advisor, Duff Rove

Mabel Meets With Top Advisor, Duff Rove

In a written press release, Mabel said that she is working on gas woes. When asked what kind of car she drove, she responded “Oh, that kind of gas. I was working with Alka-Seltzer.”

She is considering getting back in the race. “This is fracking amazing, ” she muttered.

Vidalia Onions

13 07 2008

Eating the last of Vidalia onions for the year and they have made me a tasty mess.

This means my breath will never let another human being want to kiss me.

And, well, the dogs adore my skank breath.

Yet I feel free.

Mabel is bitching. But she recycles her own stuff so she can’t be a ding dong.

Holy Hell

Holy Hell

There is so much one can do when they have the breath of a demonic goat.

And that is to buy Altoids.

It’s enough.

Dogs Of The Corn

8 07 2008

Children of the Corn was a goofy-assed horror movie that I was quite charmed by.

I offer you Mabel of the Corn:

And Duff of the Corn

I think I want to be in horror movie before I die. If not, I’ll just make my own.

Dog Zombies Of The Corn.

I guess the next pet I get needs to be named Malachai.

Friday Morning Mabel Blogging

27 06 2008

Sunday Morning Mabel Blogging

22 06 2008

It’s getting hot, campers, as evidence of Mabel’s tongue.

For Captain Kona

16 06 2008

I give what I can. Mabel says Hi, Cap’n.

Friday Night Mabel Blogging

13 06 2008

She’s not really a very good farm dog.

She’s probably eating a bug or something equally as nasty.

It’s the Tao of Mabel.

Steve Cohen Is Blogging

12 06 2008

If you aren’t getting Left Wing Cracker’s daily e-mails, well, you should be. He’s amazing, tireless and just the best.

He sent me a link to where Steve Cohen is blogging. I love it when politicians’ blog.

My vision for that generation is one of fully recognized freedoms for all individuals living in a nation where government helps those less fortunate to be a part of our great society. My vision is of one People, one Nation, one America. “E Pluribus Unum” is not merely some trademark stamped on the Great Seal as part of some American branding scheme. It is a vision of our world. It is a call to unity. It is, in and of itself, a sacred purpose.

As a society we do not gain the right to call ourselves unified or just if we are not. Just being American does prove us great and good. It is those things that Americans have done that has made America so, and America will continue to be great, to be good by continuing to expand civil liberties for all, by embracing all walks of life into one society, into one America.

There’s more here.

On another note, I’m watching Sen. Joe Lieberman defend John McCain this morning. Mabel may have to get back in the race if Lieberman keeps it up. Just so she can bite him. I’m a pacifist. She’s not.

Squirrel Queen And Mabel

6 06 2008

This is the one that gets me killed but it makes me laugh.

I think it’s adorable. And, yes, Mabel has slept with someone like this for eight years.

My Odd Fascination With Shellfish

21 04 2008

As Mabel’s campaign for president has basically gone ignored by those who aren’t dazzled by her brilliance and for the sheer fact that she is currently asleep next to Duff after an eye-licking fest that went on for about 20 minutes, which could possible make her the first lesbian canine presidential candidate for president evah, I thought I would tell you a few things about myself as her campaign manager.

Blogging is supposed to be about ourselves, isn’t it?

Anyhoo, here is a list of things that I like

  • Crawfish. I do love me some crawfish and I want some right now.
  • I like Cheezy Poof the cat who belongs to Badger. Generally, I get along with all cats although I don’t understand them. They are not like dogs who give you unconditional love all the time except for my other dog who is also on the couch, Kirby The Blind. Kirby, even at a young age, was ambivalent and talks. I will try to get this on video. Actually, it’s more of a form of bitching and she is very verbal. She also is much like a cat because if she wants love, she demands it and then is through with you.  She actually was a curmudgeon at the ripe old age of one day. Cats, on the other hand, appear to do what they want when they want to and the hell with what anyone thinks. I think I want to become more cat like as a person. I’m going to work on that.
  • I also am quite fond of lobster.
  • Crawfish and Lobster bisque is probably my favorite food followed by Steak Oscar, which means I’m a fool for shellfish.
  • I am also a fan of Tulips although many flowers make me sneeze.
  • I like Homer. Homer is a fine sister and puts up with my BS quite well.
  • Mike Gravel makes me laugh in a good way.
  • I like Doctor Who. I always have even though the Daliks are really the weirdest arch enemy in history

It goes without saying that Mabel will eat anything which means she would be a fine guest at any rubber chicken function during her campaign.

I have seen her eat:

  • A tomato
  • A belt (which was a belt I liked quite a bit, mind you.)
  • Several books
  • Her own waste, which means she recycles and is a friend of Earth Day
  • Several electrical cords which worried the hell out of me when she was a mere pup
  • Cave Crickets (although Duff is more of a hunter than Mabel and could live on the vermin she can catch.)
  • The side of a table. Thank God she is a short dog as the damage was minimal.
  • Two pounds of Chocolate Creme Drops which were a Christmas present wrapped under the tree about six years ago and although she created the biggest mess in history which is a gag inducing memory of the highest order, she did not succumb to death which is good.
  • Cole Slaw
  • Salad
  • Asparagus

So, I realize this is a post pretty much about nothing although I do encourage you to read Mabel’s platform for president.

Well, once she writes it and all.

Mabel For President

3 04 2008
Mabel has been to the moon (sorta.)
She has negotiated tricky international policies with evil overlords.
Mabel Can Read (sorta.)
She likes cats and is open to new ideas.
Mabel is a very presidential looking dog.
More presidential than George Bush when you get right down to it. Don’t you want to have a beer with her.
“Today, Mabel announces her candidacy for President of the United States. As candidates are not paying attention to the needs of citizens and the infighting has gotten to the point that the future of the United States of America is threatened with the lack of diversity and tolerance for our fellow man, Mabel has decided that if Washington has gone to the dogs, put a DOG in the White House.”
She’s female, she’s old, she’s black and she’s white. She’s got it all.
Can we please move past those things?
She doesn’t talk about the issues.
She’s just like the rest of the candidates these days.
What do you have to lose?
I really had hope when this race started.

Tired Random Mumblings

26 03 2008

The last time I was this tired, I slept until noon. No one is that concerned about it, even my best buddies, but it’s true.

I wish I could tell you something witty, tell you my typos were because I was looking moon-eyed into the sky and had a penguin ominously shaped like Mabel sleeping in the crook of my knee making me act so erratically.

Alas, I’m just dog-assed tired. I know, boring.

So, with that said, go here. It’s a platypus. You know, it proves a bunch of spiritual stuff. Or not.

And, yeah, my pop culture posts always get more views than my political ones.

Apparently we love pop culture.

What’s with that?

Okay, I get it.

Britney rawks.


Mabel Meets Zombie Elvis

10 03 2008

For Bad Bad Ivy and Cantalyssa at Home Ec 101.


Mabel encounters Zombie Elvis. She has fear in her eyes as she bows in terror of what the undead king might do to her. The large feet of Squirrel Queen do not frighten her as she is used to them stomping about the house.
She realizes that her fight against the undead is fruitless as no one wins against Zombie Elvis. She lies down to her new alpha and realizes that she has been made the canine version of Renfro in this zombie saga although she has no idea who Renfro is because she is, alas, a dog.
She does know Tom Waits played him in one of the Dracula movies because I told her so.
The End
Or Is It? 

Silly, Wonderful Things

7 03 2008
Things you might or might now want to see. Snippets of Chez Coma and how cool it can be.
Snotty Mabel.
Playing with the closeup on the camera. She hates the camera.
I love these old dilapidated farms in the country. The sky is awesome.
Beautiful horses that said Hi last week.
Licking her very sick Mom.

You Have To Admit …

29 11 2007

That this dog should work for Santa:


Mabel is one fine elf …


But she’s not fond of the Paparazzi.