Pink Kitty Dances, And It’s Beautiful

I wasn’t going to say a word. Really I wasn’t because, in all honesty, the way people act sometimes just wears me out. Why people have to be shitty to other people to make themselves feel better never ceases to amaze me, and quite frankly, I’m done with it.

But a comment over at NiT sparked several conversations around the web about size acceptance and civility and the issues that women (and men because I know men who go through this too) so many times, are judged by the way we look and not who we are. It also brought up several different reactions from both men and women that I feel shows that there are more good folks out there than idiots.

So far, these women have been more eloquent than I could ever be:

Kate O

Kat Coble

And the lovely and kind Aunt B.

Here’s the thing. I have written in length before about internet trolls who find instant balls by sitting behind a computer where they can tear apart people without looking them in the eye. I’ve also written about treating people the way that you want to be treated not only in life but here on the internet. To say things so harshly and rude not only makes me angry but saddens me. I’ve been a target of it myself and, although it is bruising, I have learned to laugh about it as much as I can.

But it still twists your insides into a million different directions because comments about looks just is so dismissive to the people we all are.

In this post written on a fantastic blog named Sexeteria I can’t help but feel that there are more women and men that get it than those who don’t.

I’ve always been heavy. I just lost a crapload of weight not for any other reason than I was really, desperately sick and food disgusted me. Due to the illness that resulted in a hysterectomy and a bladder sling, I realized that certain foods just made me feel bad so I quit eating them. I went through a lot, but that is another story for another day.

But you see, I’m never going to be a fashion model. Even if I was in size 7, it wouldn’t matter. I am who I am, just like other people are who they are.

But there will always be that little kid that I used to be that had the beauty queen mother and thin sister who didn’t feel like she was a part of things. And those insecurities came from people being very rude and hateful about the way I looked as a child. What was worse is knowing that there are adults who act with the hurtful ignorance of kids who didn’t know better. I guess those kids grew up to be the adults who perpetuate a level of harm and ignorance. What amazes me is that it creates a new elitism of what we regard as beautiful.

And what we don’t

So, I tried to find things to distinguish myself where my weight wouldn’t be what people saw when they looked at me. Be smarter, funnier, more insightful, a better listener, a kinder person, a savvy businesswoman, a better friend, a devoted daughter.

I found balance and contentment but the reality is that people do judge anyway and it doesn’t go away. People judge other people many times on what they see.

Now, in Sexeteria’s post, it was a woman who sparked her post. A woman who took a picture of an anonymous fat woman, placed it on Flickr and then proceeded to make fun of her. Women have to take care of each other or the tower of cards will always fall down. Why haven’t we learned that?

I don’t know.

But, you know, the thing is when people like this make these sort of comments be it on-line or in the real world, they don’t care and that’s what saddens me the most of all.

And, the moral of this story because in the blogosphere, we do personalize what we read and I did the harsh words on the comment from NiT, I am sexy. I am smart and I am a goddess.

And these ain’t just words, campers.

As is Pink Kitty who dances with abandon with her hair sweeping around her graceful body as she moves with the joy of knowing she is sexy. As is Miss Syl over Sexeteria who felt the hurt of horrible words from people who needed to feel their worth by making fun of a fat woman. I do not know either one of these women, but they have made an impression on me.

And, yes, I’m not Twiggy but I am awesome. And if you don’t believe me, let me tell you all about the unique, lovely Newscoma because she is fabulous.

As we all are.