Coming Down

I’m feeling a bit better. I’m off the Vi-Q-Tuss cough syrup. As I was in the bed, shivering and sweating out the bad stuff, hallucinating about Alberto Gonzalez being my boyfriend trying to devour my soul (I kid, I kid. Not really) and watching television in a haze of hell and invisible beaver droppings, I had some weird dreams.

I wish I was kidding about the dreams.

I dreamed about Ivy and she had long blue hair much like the first day I met her at Pancake Pantry in Nashville (although it wasn’t blue that day). In the dream she had brought me a Christmas present and I felt really bad because I knew that it was just April and I didn’t have one for her. She brought me a toy tractor. Her kids and my nieces were running around and had built a fire in the living room. It was keeping us warm, so I didn’t complain about it although it had taken out the sofa. I vaguely remember that Ivy, Squirrel Queen and I were drinking Sambuca.

I also dreamed that Dolly Parton asked to buy Mabel for $100,000 while Ivy stood there with this weird sort of judgment in her eyes that was something between “sell the dog or don’t sell the dog, you’re stupid either way”. I really was upset about this because $100,000 dollars would be really sweet right now because, you know, it’s $100,000 dollars. And Homer was yelling at me to take the money as she swiffled the floor.

I then dreamed I bought a MacBook Pro but it was broken.

I woke up (this was a real dream. I’m not making this crap up) and felt infinitely better although I was starving. I’ve asked Squirrel Queen to make me a knight’s round table of food today, but what I’m really hankering is a huge piece of red meat (sorry to my Vegan friends, but it’s what I want.)

With this said, I think I’m on the road to recovery.