Zombie Coma

26 08 2008

I have decided I’m a zombie. Apparently, my body quit working about six months ago and I’m wandering around in a daze with ruddy skin and torn garments. I haven’t gotten to the eating brains stage yet though so I guess that’s good. I have been eating a lot of homegrown tomatoes. I guess it’s because they are the color of blood.

I have another bout of walking pneumonia. I knew I haven’t been feeling to hot and Squirrel Queen nagged me to go to the doctor. Then, our classified director said today to SQ when they didn’t know I was listening that I needed to get some medical help quick.

I didn’t realize it was that bad. Seriously, I knew I wasn’t up to par but I blamed the Olympics, the fact that I’m in the middle of what could be a huge change in my life and Geraldo Rivera, because I blame him for everything. I just was kinda used to feeling crappy.

So, in knowing there was some concern in their voices, I threw my hands in the air and said to myself “Coma, allrighty then, what’s 20 minutes at the docs.”

I headed out.

Two hours later, I’ve had thyroid tests, been diagnosed with walking pneumonia, been given a breathing treatment, been given some shot of steroids and been told that my immunity system is down. We are going to work on that in the next few weeks. (Thyroid test was negative which had me sweating (maybe it was the ‘roids) because Homer lost part of her thyroid several years ago and I was nervousing as the nieces say.)

And I’ve been given drugs that would knock out Bigfoot.

I don’t know what is most disconcerting. That I didn’t know how sick I was or that I ignored it. I’ve been ignoring it a lot lately. I have decided that the best thing I can do is an assessment of how I’m going about things.

I also need to stop the breakneck speed of running in place.

The good thing is that news has become fun again. I’m digging it. I like being busy with a purpose, so the timing of this isn’t great, but life isn’t always easy.

So, annoying autobiographical pause here. Let the happy cough syrup salad days begin ’cause I ain’t feeling a thing right now.

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5 responses

26 08 2008
grandefille

It’s not annoying. We love you and want you to be happy and well, so we’re glad when you stop long enough to take some medicine, have a nap and tell us what you’re up to. You wear yourself out taking care of everybody else, dahlink, and we want you to take care of yourself at least once every three weeks, all right?

We send many many healing hugs and kisses and lots of Fresca (it’s grapefruit juice! It’s GOT to be healthy!) and barbecue. And bubble gum, just because.

And may I just say that the photo of the zombie bunny scares me very very badly. To the point where I’m going to go out to my car with a blade drawn. Jeeeeeebus.

26 08 2008
Russ

‘Coma, ditto on what grandefille just said. You know that I was basically in the same predicament recently, when I kept ignoring what you (and eventually others) referred to as the “Russ Plague.” Everybody kept telling me to go to the doctor, but I didn’t. Even you told me that.

Remember?

Now that you’re walking around with the ‘Coma Plague, I feel it is my karmic duty to tell you this:

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. THE WORLD WILL NOT END IF YOU’RE SICK FOR A WHILE.

Get better quick.

Love,
R.

26 08 2008
newscoma

Wow. I did say that.
Funny thing is that I meant it for you, Russ. 😉
I will and thanks to both of you.

26 08 2008
Joe P.

as much as i heart zombies, dear ‘Coma, i surely don’t want you to be one.

best thoughts to you for better health – though it sounds like you wisely heeded SQ. good. get ya some healin’, girl.

27 08 2008
Lynn

Yuck. Get well soon, my friend.

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