Good Advice

28 06 2008

I’m linking to a post by Cathy that says some very good things not only about her role as a parent, but some advice we could all take pause and think about.

I don’t want my children to go through life with a big blank smile on their faces, saying “everything is fine” when life is all about highs and lows. It is the lows that make the highs that much sweeter. As adults, we learn to filter who we share details of life with, but even as adults, we recognize the big, fat liars who are more superficial than a department store mannequin. Teenagers have enough problems without adults denying their feelings. If one of my children says they had a really cruddy day, they need a hug. They don’t need me telling them that their day doesn’t matter or that they are wrong. Their blog is their therapy couch. It’s where they get to let it all out. Validation is much more important than keeping up appearances.

It’s true. Even as an adult, when I say it’s been a crappy day, that’s usually me asking for validation that my emotions are allowable. That they are valid. People need to be heard even when they aren’t telling you the whole story because the whole story is too painful to tell.

Everyone could use a hug instead of a snarky remark.

At least that’s my experience.

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2 responses

28 06 2008
Jeffraham Prestonian

Hugs and snark aren’t mutually exclusive though, I hope…?
.

28 06 2008
newscoma

Ahh, they are good together, no doubt. For me at least as I live that dream.

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