How Can I Get On The Front Page?

15 05 2008

I found this site through Brittney G’s fancy new blog in San Francisco.

Big city, little town, it’s all the same.

How can I get on the front page?

This is what Spots says:

“What’s your name?”


“Who are you with? Newspaper? TV? Website? Media?”

Oy. “The Chronicle.”

“What do we have to do to get on the front page of the Chronicle?”

Oh god. What the hell do I say to that? Beats me, sketch comedy guy. Probably bomb a government building day care center. So I went with the obvious.


I mainly did this for my girls, giggling behind me.

Andrew, who had remained on stage then proceeded to undress, making it only as far as his yellow man-panties, which is why he’s only ending up on the Culture Blog.

I have to become more clever when I get this question like she was. Every day. I live in the South in the Bible Belt. No one is going to get nude except that one lady who they keep throwing out of the local juke joints for conducting, let’s say, business practices that aren’t quite legal.

Most men I know don’t wear “yellow man-panties” but if they did, I’d probably put them on the front page.

Yes, we would love to put every story on the front page. But there is, you know, just one front page thus it being called the front page.

Oy indeed.




4 responses

15 05 2008
theodoric of athens, more caption

we have days around here that are so slow that the front page story is an interview with the bum who’s hanging out in front of the Wal-Mart this week.

15 05 2008
chez beziat

If I ever find myself on the front page, chances are I’ll be owing my family a big apology. I don’t think they read the Culture Blog though, so I’m good there.

15 05 2008
Jeffraham Prestonian

Heh! theodoric of athens!

I tell everyone that newscoma is the Atrios of 2009. I have a good record of prognostication. 🙂

15 05 2008
Jeffraham Prestonian

Oh — and, t of a (titter)…

You didn’t say you’d be in Gnashtown today…?! I’d have bought you a Fat Mo’s!

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