I sat down in an exclusive interview with my sister, Homer, who is president of the PTO. I felt that because she had held this office for two years, with a term as treasurer and V.P. for a time as well as cleaning up popcorn, Dippin’ Dots and possibly children’s sick after events that she could give us some insight on the political races for Prez of the United States.
Me: “How do you like being president?”
Homer: “It’s pretty good.”
Me: “How did you seek this office? How much money did you pay in campaign dollars? Which corporations backed you?”
Homer: “I didn’t pay anything. Hell, Trace, I don’t know any corporations. I sort of got recruited into it. I wanted my kids to have a voice and learn to how to use their voices. That’s why I decided to be active in PTO.”
Me: “You’re lying.” (She glares at me sometimes and I get scared and she also knows that I’m not very good at being Chris Matthews or Glenn Beck so I cowered as I am wont to do when she gives me stink eye.) “Umm, you love your kids?”
Homer: “You are an idiot. Yes, I love my kids and I wanted them to have opportunities. We have to raise money for things and I just wanted to be a part of their childhood. I want them to have fun being kids, so that’s why I’m president of the PTO.”
Me: “So, who will you be supporting for president?”
Homer: “Of the PTO?”
Me: “No, for the United States of America.” (Cue National Anthem and theme to the movie Independence Day for dramatic effect.)
Homer: “I’m not going to tell you because you’ll put it on Newscoma.”
Me: “I’d never do that.” (When I lie, my eye twitches. She saw it right away just as she did when I use to rat her out when we were kids.)
Homer: “I’ve been reading up on the candidates, douche. Isn’t that what you are supposed to do? At least that’s what I think people should do because then they know the issues. So, I’m liking what a couple of them have to say. Interview over.”
Me: “So, you are saying ‘No Comment.'”
Homer: “Shut up.”
Me: “That’s no way to end this interview.”
Homer: “You want to eat something half way decent tonight?”
Of course, she knows me.
Newscoma 
[…] childhood. I want them to have fun being kids, so that’s why I’m president of the PTO.” [Homer For President – Newscoma – 01-21-08] Spread It Around: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and […]